Tuesday, September 22, 2009

The Journey

Well since i have decided to document this whole journey i figured i would start from the beggining. From when i found out i was pregnant till now.....lets see where to start,

Found out i was pregnant at the end of march i was late for my period,which i usually am because my cycle is very wierd, but anyhow something seemed off this time so i sent jonathan of to rite aid to pick up some test. I went in and took the first one, waited and sure enough there it was a positive, but i know how sometimes they can be wrong so off i went again to take the second, one again sure enough positive! yikes, first thing i did was call jonathan he was on his way to work and i let him know i was pregnant he reacted very calm and even though i knew he was freaking out he didnt seem like it over the phone, on the other hand i was a mess, i was crying and thinking Hmmmm maybe the test is wrong somehow, so with jonathan trying to calm me down we deciced the most important thing was to make sure the test was correct and make a Dr appt, i called my dr let her know and first thing she said was to stop taking my xanax, so that was that. A few days (still hadnt had my first appt with the OB) i had some very very light bleeding we went to dr very worried they did our very first sonogram let me know there was for sure a little nugget in there and that the bleeding had happend due to implantation of the egg into the uterus. Soo the rest of the next couple of months were routine Ob exams, checking of the babys heart, getting blood work done the usual stuff that goes with bieng pregnant. As far as stuff that was going on with me other then bieng tired and sleep ALL The time which seemed like the usual me anyways, i didnt throw up other then maybe three times and as far as mood swings i dont really think i had any although jonathan would be the person to ask, i barely gained any weight 5 pounds in 4 month and my bumb wasnt showing at all, which was making me feel bad i would think it would make me feel great that i was 4 month pregnant and other than the fact my breast grew ALOT nobody thought i looked pregnant at all but i guess people think i was sopposed to be all plump like a umpalumpa which i was far from. anwho everthing was going along perfect, untill we had our routine 15 week ultrasound, baby was measuring a bit small two weeks smaller then he should of been so they wanted us to see a genetic counseler, that was the worst day because i went so excited to that appt i knew we would find out gender the baby was going to be and as soon as the dr said that he wanted us to see a genetic counseler, i tried to be happy at news that he had announced it was going to be a girl but it didnt seem to matter because they thought something was wrong with the baby. Jonathan didnt really understand what was going on and i soon as we walked out of the office i started crying he didnt really get it and i explained that when they send people to genetic councelers it's because they suspect the baby might have down syndrome or something else like that, all those books i had been reading came in handy to how much i knew, which was good at this poing but bad as well because that made my mind go to places that you wouldnt even think of. So we went back three weeks later for a far more extended ultrasound and for the appt with the counceler she explained that they showed some abnormalities in my blood work, basicly because of my age the numbers they got back were very high and showed something was wrong, they told me there was a chance the baby had down syndrome or something was wrong with the baby's spine which meant that even if the baby was born he wouldnt survive past a couple of days if months, they told us the only way the could make sure nothing was wrong geneticly was to get an amnio done, which means they stick a needle into your belly into the uteras and into the amnio sac to get some fluid and have that tested for all the stuff they thought was wrong and a list of other stuff as well, sooo we had to wait three days which i think were the hardest three days of our lifes, praying and hoping and wishing and then coming up with a choice between me and jonathan that if something was wrong with the baby if were going to continue with the pregnancy. we didnt talk about that till the day the test were sopposed to come in, and we both decided that we would continue with the pregnancy we were still talking about it when the phone rang and it was our conceler with the news that the baby had come back negative for all the stuff that was wrong! me and jonathan were so happy, our little nugget was healthy, so another three weeks went on and we had our next ultra sound by this point i dreaded going to every appt that had to do with the baby, because everytime i would get excited we had another appt and they always seemed to find something wrong, so this appt was no different, the doctor let us know that the baby had fallen another week behind ( a total of three weeks now) was measuring small and something might be wrong with either the placenta or the umbelical cord, more bad news, it seemed to never end, so the dr let us know that with most if not all cases like ths the baby keeps falling off more weeks untill they stop growing and eventually die, they let us know what our options continue with the pregnancy and hope that a miracle would happen or terminate it, me and jonathan let her know that we in no way wanted to terminate it and would do anything possible to give the baby the chance it deserved, so the plan was to be monitored weekly and hope for a miracle, we did this for about two weeks before we got some even more bad news, not only was the baby not getting enough food or oxygen because of the placenta but the umbelical cord which was only giving him some food or oxygen had started reversing which means it was starting to take away from the baby, which was the worst possible scenario because it made it all that more of a miracle that the baby would be okay. Me, Jonathan and all our family didnt give up, even though it seemed impossible we kept praying and turned to other sources as well, home remedies, went to a mid wife to get my belly rubbed turns out the baby had been concieved with my spine open and he had started growing very low and to the right because of that wasnt growing the proper way, although most people would think this is nonsence to me it made complete sense, i was having really bad back pain in my lower back which made it hard for me to even walk and after that first massage it dissapeared! So we took it day by day doing everything and anything we could,and everyone pitched in, i really believe this is what has helped so much all the positive energy all the prayers all the love, from everyone especially my family, i started drinking daily cups of beet juice (it help by creating more blood flow on top of other stuff ) carrot juice taking my prenatal's twice a day instead of once, and trusting that god has a plan and it's up to him. We went back for our weekly appt two weeks ago and gound out that the reverse blood flow in the umbelical cord had began to go back to normal it was still there but hadnt got worse which was great news and the baby although very small had grown, finally some good news after weeks of terrible ones. so last week we went again and another mircale the reverse umbelical cord had completely stopped! no sign of it, it had just dissapeared! oh and another thing i had forgot to mention was that my amnio fluid this whole time had been very low started off at a 4 (a normal number is 11 or 12) then week by week had started going up after i started drinking my beet and carrot juice, it went up to 6 and this week was at 11 !!!!! the doctors face was very happy and in shock, but wait thats not all my little nugget doubled in size he weighed in at 1.5 pounds from bieng just a week ago not even close to a pound! I believe the doctors exact words were "i dont know what or who .....but this baby is doing great" which we took as her saying " i dont know whar or who you guys are praying to but its working" so today we reached our 27 week and the dr really didnt believe he would make it this far, and although he still small he's getting bigger by the week and every day that passes he's beating the odds so thats the story our life the last six month, it hasnt been easy but i feel it has brought my whole family WAY more close, me and my sister havent had that great of a relationship through our life but she has been threre for me and we are now closer then ever, very corny i know but true, my mom has sopported me just like she always does but what she has done for me and jonathan and josh the last couple of month we will never be able to repay her, plus all the support from jonathan's family as well, they have had prayer groups which doesnt seem like alot to them but to me and jonathan it means a WHOLE lot. Sooo were taking it a day at a time, and hoping josh finally gets here healthy and good, we know he's going to hang in there untill he's ready to come out and drive his family crazy once he does!

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