Sunday, May 30, 2010
When a child is born prematurely it can be hard to live the joy of having a baby or to have hope. Suddenly and unexpectedly one of life´s greatest moments is replaced by anxiety, grief and solitude. While all of our stories are unique and our outcomes vary, our struggles and search for comfort are all the same. Preemie Hearts was founded with the intention of filling that void which many of us feel during and after our preemie experiences.
The Preemie Purple Heart is a symbol of unity, love, and understanding among families like ours. As it has for ten years now, the Heart keepsake provides a meaningful way to commemorate our personal experiences and express our gratitude, understanding, and compassion for others in these trying times.
In the future, we hope that methods and treatments are found that can save children and families from the preemie experience. Every heart sold contributes to research in order to find preventative measures. The Preemie Purple Heart cooperates with i.e. March Of Dimes and the Pregenia foundation.
20 Things parents of angels wish you would remember
1. I wish you would not be afraid to mention my baby. The truth is just because you never say my baby doesn't mean he doesn't deserve your recognition.
2. I wish that if we did talk about my baby and I cried you didn't think it was because you have hurt me by mentioning him. The truth is I need to cry and talk about my baby with you. Crying and emotional outbursts help me heal.
3.I wish that you could talk about my baby more than once. The truth is if you do, it reassures me that you haven't forgotten him and that you do care and understand.
4. I wish you wouldn't think that I don't want to talk about my baby. The truth is that I love my baby and need to talk about him.
5.I wish you could tell me you are sorry my baby has died and that you are thinking of me. The truth is it tells me you care.
6.I wish you wouldn't think what has happened is one big bad memory for me. The truth is the memory of my baby, the love I feel for my baby, the dreams I had and the memories I have created for my baby are all loving memories. Yes, there are bad memories too but please understand that it's not all like that.
7.I wish you wouldn't pretend that my baby never existed. The truth is we both know I had a baby growing inside of me.
8.I wish you wouldn't judge me because I am not acting the way you think I should be. The truth is grief is a very personal thing and we are all different people who deal with things differently.
9.I wish you wouldn't think if I have a good day I'm "over it" or if I have a bad day I am being unreasonable because you think I should be over it. The truth is there is no "normal" way for me to act.
10. I wish you wouldn't stay away from me. The truth is losing my baby doesn't mean I'm contagious. By staying away you make me feel isolated, confused and like it's my fault.
11. I wish you wouldn't expect my grief to be "over and done with" in a few weeks, months, or years for that matter. The truth is that it may get easier with time but I will never be "over this".
12.I wish you wouldn't think that my baby wasn't a real baby and it was blood and tissue or a fetus. The truth is my baby was a human life. He had a soul, heart, body, legs, arms and face. I have seen my baby's body and face. My baby was a real person.
13.My babies due date, Mothers Day, celebration times, the day my baby died and the day my baby was delivered are all important and sad days for me. The truth is I wish you could tell me by words or by letter you are thinking of me on these days.
14.I wish you would understand that losing my baby has changed me. The truth is I am not the same person I was before and will never be that person again. If you keep waiting for me to get back to "normal" you will stay frustrated. I am a new person with new thoughts, dreams, beliefs and values. Please try to get to know the real me --- maybe you'll still like me.
15. I wish you wouldn't tell me to have another baby. The truth is that I want the baby I lost and no other baby can replace him. Babies aren't interchangeable.
16. I wish you wouldn't feel awkward or uncomfortable talking about my baby or being near me. When you do, I can see it. The truth is it's not fair to make me feel uncomfortable just because you do.
17. I wish you wouldn't think that you'll keep away because all my friends and family will be there for me. The truth is, everyone thinks the same thing and I am often left with no one.
18.I wish you would understand that being around pregnant women is uncomfortable for me.
19.I wish you wouldn't say that it's natures way of telling me something was wrong with my baby. The truth is my baby was perfect to me no matter what you think nature is saying.
20.I wish you would understand that what you are really saying when you say "next time things will be okay". The truth is how do you know? What will you say it it happens to me again.
Saturday, May 29, 2010
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Monday, May 24, 2010
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
A Newborn's Conversation with God
A baby asked God, "They tell me you are sending me to earth tomorrow, but
how am I going to live there being so small and helpless?"
God said, "Your angel will be waiting for you and will take care of you."
The child further inquired, "But tell me, here in heaven I don't have to do
anything but sing and smile to be happy."
God said, "Your angel will sing for you and will also smile for you.
And you will feel your angel's love and be very happy."
Again the small child asked, "And how am I going to be able to understand
when people talk to me if I don't know the language?"
God said, "Your angel will tell you the most beautiful and sweet words you
will ever hear, and with much patience and care, your angel will teach you how to speak."
"And what am I going to do when I want to talk to you?"
God said, "Your angel will place your hands together and will teach you how
"Who will protect me?"
God said, "Your angel will defend you even if it means risking its life."
"But I will always be sad because I will not see you anymore."
God said, "Your angel will always talk to you about Me and will teach you
the way to come back to Me, even though I will always be next to you."
At that moment there was much peace in Heaven, but voices from Earth could
be heard and the child hurriedly asked, "God, if I am to leave now, please tell me my angel's name."
God said, "You will simply call her, Mom."
Lift a mother's spirit; send this to every mother you know (no matter how
old her child is).