The reason.
if you clicked the link to the blog from Instagram then you might be aware I deleted my old account.
Now, I know I owe no one any explanations, but I'm also aware that deleting an account of almost, 6? years does not come without questions & speculations as to what led me to do that. And, being the very open book that I am when it comes to my safe haven I shall divulge.
Social media is such an incredible platform & medium to meet people from all over & stay connected with family as well with friends. I have an entire community of people that I would have not stayed in contact with had it not been for Facebook back when Joshua passed away. They are family and I miss them dearly since I deactivated my Facebook back in August. That's a whole different post so for now I will stay on topic and continue on with Instagram. The platform is an incredible avenue to share daily pictures, quotes, what have you with a large or small community of individuals. To look for inspiration about an outfit, hair, seriously there are micro communities for any topic you can think of.
Science? yup, there's a hashtag & community for that
Nursing? yup, there's a hashtag & community for that
Fitness ? oh, you know there is a hashtag & community for that.
There's micro communities for everything imaginable. And, although each account can be private or public it's the followers we have that I'm leading to. Wether it's a private account with just family or a public account with thousands of followers, what we share has an impact on someone, somehow. We, as humans sometimes like to think we are insignificant in this very large scale, but I promise you we are not. Yes, this is coming from someone who suffers from depression & has struggled with feeling VERY insignificant for a majority if not all of her life. Although we all like to think that everyone is aware that the pictures that get posted are the what we choose to showcase, it's our highlight reel, that's not often the case. I found myself on the platform looking at pictures of "picture perfect" families and realizing that's exactly what I was showcasing as well. My Instagram was my highlight reel. It was a plethora of "Kodak" moments showcasing a picture perfect family & I unknowingly was contributing to the idea that we are a perfect family.
I was contributing to this ideal that I believe exists within social media that everyone has their shit together except you.
I was contributing to this ideal that everyone is living their best life, except you.
I realize the platform has become much more of a business & insignificant accounts such as mine or yours don't seem to matter since they might only be viewed by family.
But, they do.
I often found myself looking at other peoples posts about their families and comparing my lifestyle with theirs.
It's unhealthy.
In the last couple of months in this new journey of self discovery that I have began I thought about what my account, my pictures said to my family & friends that viewed them.
It showcased a highlight reel. It showcased an unrealistic expectation of what "happily ever after" means, a picture perfect family if you will......
Is there such a thing as a happily ever after ? Are we not constantly growing, changing & manifesting what we believe to be bringing happiness into our lives in that current chapter ? Maybe what brought us happiness before is not the same as what is currently brining us happiness......Perhaps, we hang on to these ideals because of all the likes we get in a particular picture. Because, each like validates our choices & gives us a nod that we're making the right choice.
Did I lose you guys there ?
I know, I have become this puzzle of thoughts and trying to lay them out & put them together has been quite the challenge.
Ultimately, the reason I choose to delete six years worth of pictures (They're all saved) is that I realized I was unknowingly contributing to this highlight reel that exists & I no longer wanted to be a part of it. Yes, I could be considered a hypocrite as I made a new account & have since posted pictures, but if I may explain. I want the pictures I post to be more than just "Kodak" moments that show "I have my shit together". Yes, I may have posted a lot of selfies, but guess what ? If you followed me before you know those pictures of me were extremely rare. A lot of that had to do with me & how unhappy I was with myself. Nobody likes taking pictures of themselves when they're sad, especially someone who suffers from depression because you will knit pick at every insecurity you have. Nonetheless, in embarking on this journey of self discovery I have found a love for myself that is completely new.
I have hated myself for the longest time. For a multitude of reasons, all of which I have no problem discussing, but we'll run off on another rant. Getting back to Instagram, I have realized that I don't want to contribute to this highlight reel of what a picture perfect family looks like because guess what?
That family does not exist. It doesn't.
There is no family that is perfect.
Every family is dysfunctional & unique.
There is no one type of family & furthermore there is no picture perfect family.
Truth is, we're all a mess. All of us.
Individuals have turned Instagram into showcasing this idea of "living your best life" & have thus turned that into a business. That's completely & absolutely valid, make that coin, grab the bag, stack those bills! I'm not hating on the hustle. At all.
It's us & our perception that are affected.
However small or however big our following is. We're showcasing something & i'm just choosing not to showcase what in my mind was a false narrative.
I'm just not doing it anymore.
No more false narratives, no more false perceptions.
Now, I know I owe no one any explanations, but I'm also aware that deleting an account of almost, 6? years does not come without questions & speculations as to what led me to do that. And, being the very open book that I am when it comes to my safe haven I shall divulge.
Social media is such an incredible platform & medium to meet people from all over & stay connected with family as well with friends. I have an entire community of people that I would have not stayed in contact with had it not been for Facebook back when Joshua passed away. They are family and I miss them dearly since I deactivated my Facebook back in August. That's a whole different post so for now I will stay on topic and continue on with Instagram. The platform is an incredible avenue to share daily pictures, quotes, what have you with a large or small community of individuals. To look for inspiration about an outfit, hair, seriously there are micro communities for any topic you can think of.
Science? yup, there's a hashtag & community for that
Nursing? yup, there's a hashtag & community for that
Fitness ? oh, you know there is a hashtag & community for that.
There's micro communities for everything imaginable. And, although each account can be private or public it's the followers we have that I'm leading to. Wether it's a private account with just family or a public account with thousands of followers, what we share has an impact on someone, somehow. We, as humans sometimes like to think we are insignificant in this very large scale, but I promise you we are not. Yes, this is coming from someone who suffers from depression & has struggled with feeling VERY insignificant for a majority if not all of her life. Although we all like to think that everyone is aware that the pictures that get posted are the what we choose to showcase, it's our highlight reel, that's not often the case. I found myself on the platform looking at pictures of "picture perfect" families and realizing that's exactly what I was showcasing as well. My Instagram was my highlight reel. It was a plethora of "Kodak" moments showcasing a picture perfect family & I unknowingly was contributing to the idea that we are a perfect family.
I was contributing to this ideal that I believe exists within social media that everyone has their shit together except you.
I was contributing to this ideal that everyone is living their best life, except you.
I realize the platform has become much more of a business & insignificant accounts such as mine or yours don't seem to matter since they might only be viewed by family.
But, they do.
I often found myself looking at other peoples posts about their families and comparing my lifestyle with theirs.
It's unhealthy.
In the last couple of months in this new journey of self discovery that I have began I thought about what my account, my pictures said to my family & friends that viewed them.
It showcased a highlight reel. It showcased an unrealistic expectation of what "happily ever after" means, a picture perfect family if you will......
Is there such a thing as a happily ever after ? Are we not constantly growing, changing & manifesting what we believe to be bringing happiness into our lives in that current chapter ? Maybe what brought us happiness before is not the same as what is currently brining us happiness......Perhaps, we hang on to these ideals because of all the likes we get in a particular picture. Because, each like validates our choices & gives us a nod that we're making the right choice.
Did I lose you guys there ?
I know, I have become this puzzle of thoughts and trying to lay them out & put them together has been quite the challenge.
Ultimately, the reason I choose to delete six years worth of pictures (They're all saved) is that I realized I was unknowingly contributing to this highlight reel that exists & I no longer wanted to be a part of it. Yes, I could be considered a hypocrite as I made a new account & have since posted pictures, but if I may explain. I want the pictures I post to be more than just "Kodak" moments that show "I have my shit together". Yes, I may have posted a lot of selfies, but guess what ? If you followed me before you know those pictures of me were extremely rare. A lot of that had to do with me & how unhappy I was with myself. Nobody likes taking pictures of themselves when they're sad, especially someone who suffers from depression because you will knit pick at every insecurity you have. Nonetheless, in embarking on this journey of self discovery I have found a love for myself that is completely new.
I have hated myself for the longest time. For a multitude of reasons, all of which I have no problem discussing, but we'll run off on another rant. Getting back to Instagram, I have realized that I don't want to contribute to this highlight reel of what a picture perfect family looks like because guess what?
That family does not exist. It doesn't.
There is no family that is perfect.
Every family is dysfunctional & unique.
There is no one type of family & furthermore there is no picture perfect family.
Truth is, we're all a mess. All of us.
Individuals have turned Instagram into showcasing this idea of "living your best life" & have thus turned that into a business. That's completely & absolutely valid, make that coin, grab the bag, stack those bills! I'm not hating on the hustle. At all.
It's us & our perception that are affected.
However small or however big our following is. We're showcasing something & i'm just choosing not to showcase what in my mind was a false narrative.
I'm just not doing it anymore.
No more false narratives, no more false perceptions.
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