Wednesday, August 29, 2012

New milestones, new goals.

Why, Hello their fellow bloggers. It sure has been a while, As usual :)

September is almost here and my birthday is right around the corner, yikes. I'm going to be....27? I sure don't feel like it. I feel like an ancient soul.

In these last couple of weeks I have made a goal for myself . To hit my 27th birthday in better health then I was when I was a  teenager. Quite a challenge. Yes my body has some stretch marks and battle wounds from having two kids but weight wise I am now back at 115lbs, my same weight when I was a teenager. I was quite proud of myself to reach this weight with out working out or anything (seriously nursing ROCKS!) however I want to get toned and just be healthy. Well that's where I'm at with myself.

In another subject I feel like I have reached another point in my grieving. I am now able to enjoy happy moments and not feel guilty. yes sometimes the guilt does appear but no where near where it was at the start. However I have also noticed something new.....Jealousy. I see Joshy's fellow preemies starting pre-school and reaching new milestones and i feel jealous. I had never felt that before. Not sure why it is shown up now.

As Joshy's birthday draws nearer I feel myself occupying my time to keep me from allowing myself to feel, if that makes any sense. When I let my thought's take over I go through everything leading up to his birthday and just breakdown. It was a hard road just to get to the NICU. I mean the NICU was our goal, the Dr's didn't even think josh would be born and when he reached the 24w mark and still kept cooking in borrowed time we knew he would spend a while in the NICU, but in our head he would be OK......sigh.

Moving on, September 7th me and Jonathan are going to a linkin park concert. Jonathan's favorite band. That was my gift to him for his birthday. He kept saying how amazing it would be for them to play the song 'with you' in their set. That song is one of Joshy's song and he listen's to it all the time and guess what? It's part of their set! So exactly one month before Joshy's birthday Sept 7 we get to listen to one of his songs played live. I entered Jonathan in a bunch of contest to try to win him Meet & greet passes to the band. We are keeping our fingers crossed. How great would that be! 

In Natty news, she is doing awesome! She is seriously the greatest little girl & I have no doubt in my mind her brother choose her for us. She is smart and sassy and just a total ham. We wake up every morning thinking she can't get any cuter but lo and be hold she wakes up cuter lol. I will post recent pictures when I get a chance but for now just wanted to share this funny video I made of her. As of this month she now can say, mama, dadda, pappa, Hi, Bye, Gracias (thank you in spanish), Mas (more in spanish) Juice and give kisses and blow kisses. She babbles a bunch of other stuff but really I have no idea what she's saying but she really wants to talk and communicate. She's in the climbing stage and is our official new monkey to the family. Her favorite things are the iPad. Oh how she loves that thing. She knows how to unlock it, which Apps to open, how to start netflix, how to navigate around the apps, open and close them and I am very proud to announce that with out any pressure from me, her FAVORITE app is the Disneyland app. Oh how proud I am :)

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